Free and Forward

I see his face when I close my eyes

He that loves me and he that does not

They both say they do, but actions reveal the truth

That truth makes me run hot

 

Why do I care if he loves me not

That his actions prove that is true

Because he promised to love me forever

And I want what I am due

 

I set aside my everything to be his everything

I gave up my every day to be his every day

My trust, my hopes, all that was me

He laughed at as he tossed it away

 

I’ve gathered what was mine that was still in tact

Because most was obliterated as it hit the curb

The seeds I’ve replanted are starting to grow

Determined to be more than before, they spring forth undeterred

 

With that underway I look around

I look north and south and east and west

Wanting to do it right this time

How do I know what is best

 

I close my eyes and see his face less

The memories are still sad but are fewer

And when he calls or texts

I’m no longer attracted to his lure

 

No longer looking in every direction

I look inside and see it is time

To give back to him what was his

And to take back the last of mine

 

A look in the mirror 

And I honestly know

Those actions are reality

The love that’s real shows

 

He that loves me not needs to go

Out of my life, away from me

I’m untying myself from him

So then I will fully be free

 

He that loves me stands there

Waiting for me to figure it out

I know this needs to happen

Without a doubt

 

My feet are in cement

Not because I want to stay

But because to move forward,

Again I am afraid

 

There, I said it

I’ve said what my heart knew was true

I am afraid to believe when it is said again

Joy, I love you